SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
