I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
