This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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