I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
