...so i touched it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
