I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
