Little spoons don't ask big questions
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
