So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
