dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
