I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
