I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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