I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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