Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize