I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
