Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
