It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
