I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
