i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
