This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
