Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
