Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize