im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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