i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize