She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize