what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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