just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
