I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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