So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
