if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
