This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
