Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
