So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
