You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
