Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
