I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize