lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
