Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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