Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
