I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just cut my nipple shaving
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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