Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
