okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
