I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
