Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
