My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
