Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
