All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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