I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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