dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
