This girl is more easily done than said...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
