Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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