It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
