theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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