was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
