you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
