Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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