Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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