why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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