Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I looked at my own cervix.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
