Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
