chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize